The Whipping Post

A political commentary seeking to bring to light the tumult of our world.

Murdoch and his Minions

News Corporation has recently hit headlines over their subordinate news tabloid News of the World based out of the UK. The hacking scandal which proved harmful in 2002 has just now come to light. The kidnap and murder of a thirteen year-old child consumed the entire focus of news in 2002 while the family and police where receiving false hope on behalf of News of the World. They hacked into the girl’s cellphone and it has been found that journalists deleted messages that could have been pertinent to the investigation. These allegations along with hundreds more hacking scandals involving correspondence with the police have forced the paper to fold. The last issues cover stated “Thank you and Goodbye.” It is about time that this scandal has been brought justice. Whether or not it was a product of Rupert Murdoch’s prominence or the mere fact that the police were in on it, it is still an extremely unfortunate turn of events.

Rupert Murdoch’s statements over the matter included the mere fact that he was too far above their institution to hear about such menial atrocities. He is too busy with Fox News ruining the opinion of millions of American’s with conservative bias and deciding to ignore any opposing ideology. Any more skewed facts and blissful ignorance, and everyone who uses Fox as their information hub will believe Obama really is Muslim and that perhaps Sarah Palin’s book release was worth a more than a presidential campaign strategy when they really just took video from a campaign rally. After a number of resignations and the failure of a newspaper, Murdoch still insists that he was unaware of all that was going on “since News of the World was such a tiny part of our business.” Wherever justification lies, the immensity of this situation should not go without a great deal of investigation in which Fox News believes to be “unnecessary and a means to overshadow scandal produced elsewhere.”

News in Somalia

Luckily, Somalia has now opened its doors to foreign aid. But, of course not after two and a half years of being banned in light of their Islamist militant group deciding that there were ulterior motives in these foreign aid programs. This Islamist group, known as Al-Shabaab, has fought to overthrow governments in Somalia as well has in Ethiopia. Their practices are primarily means of force and terrorism without hesitating to kill those mainly for ideological differences. Varying numbers apply, but prior to rescinding all efforts from abroad, in 2008 and 2009 alone, 42 foreign aid workers were murdered by the group.

Now that their country is facing the most severe drought in 60 years, they are gleefully asking for help from abroad. This should not have gotten to the point it has merely as a product of anti-Muslim sentiment. This is just another example of why Northern Africa and the Middle East have much weeding out to do in order to grow as a region and not simply rely on oil to attract foreigners. These militant insurgencies cannot be frolicking around these countries imposing their ideas when they do nothing other than force the natives into poverty and malnutrition. I suppose all we can do is hope that these Islamic insurgents welcome aid brought to the region.

Michele Bachmann

                Beloved Minnesota. Home of the Twins, Bob Dylan, and the pleasantly courteous, but not quite outspoken “Minnesota Nice” stereotype. However enticing this fine state may sound, it is also home of the recently professed presidential candidates Michele Bachmann and of course Tim Pawlenty. Proud Tea Party affiliate and long-time Obama skeptic, Bachmann has succeeded in fully professing her opinions without perhaps previous research. Recently stating that Minnesotans should be “Armed and Dangerous” over Obama’s Cap and Trade legislation for sanctions on greenhouse gases and even claiming that the “Shot heard around the world in Lexington and Concord” took place in New Hampshire where she was giving a speech at the time. She is a firm believer in global warming being a falsified claim and that carbon dioxide is a natural gas that should be left to do as it naturally has for so long. This elegantly professed and knowledgeable Republican candidate for the 2012 election is making headlines left and right over her candidacy. So far, a great deal of Obama animosity and criticism of Obamacare has shot her into one of the top Republican candidacy spots. With strict Republican opposition from the likes of the Vampires Witches and Pagans party affiliate Jonathon Sharkey, she seems to be a viable option for this up and coming election.

                Not to exhaust her more dissuasive features, she does have a foreign policy strategy that considers a nuclear strike one of the more necessary means to putting Iran in their place. (Let’s not have another Barry Goldwater on our hands now) Also, her fiscal policy includes investment in domestic drilling and of course no new taxes (especially now that the pressure for our profound debt has increased two-fold in recent months and the Reuters news agency has claimed that that China has bought up to 1.115 trillion in U.S. government debt without the U.S. knowing it). We could just nuke China and solve that problem I suppose. She has spoken at fundraisers for Minnesota founded “You Can Run But You Can’t Hide International” which has been accused of false persuasion when speaking at high schools garnering support for their anti-homosexual views and anti-abortion campaign. To go out with a bang, she recently received a cease and desist order from Tom Petty’s lawyers when she used his song “American Girl” to announce her candidacy in Iowa.


              Ben Ali, done. Mubarak, done. Gaddafi, encroaching rebels are getting closer and closer. Ali Abdullah Saleh, running off to Saudi Arabia. But, this man, Bashar al-Assad, has been finding his way through international pressure and criticism without being held accountable. How often will the UN encourage a man killing innocent protestors daily to, “stop it, or else.” No valid authority has stepped in and told this dictator otherwise. Is the U.S. making too much money off him? Are we too afraid to step any farther into the Middle East in fear of contradicting ISRAEL? Who knows the real reason, but one can only imagine how long it will go on unless the U.S. steps forward.

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How to Rule the World

We’ve all heard of Stalin, Mao Tse-Tung, and if I had a dollar for every time Hitler comes up in philosophical discussions I’d be just rich enough to never pay taxes to the American government ever again. But as far as dictators go, Europe is no comparison to what’s been going on in Turkmenistan. Ever thought that the word “January” just didn’t ring well? “President for Life” Saparmurat Niyazov, former dictator of Turkmenistan, thought as much about the old names for the months of the year, and, being in absolute control of the 5 million or so Turkmen people, he renamed them. Some of the names almost make sense; Turkmenistan gained independence from the falling Soviet Union in October, thus they now call that month “Independence.” But what fun would a dictatorship be if you couldn’t rub it in everyone’s face, and so January is now named “Leader of Turkmen”, after the title Niyazov gave himself. Imagine Obama declaring himself “Ruler of Americans”, and renamed the country BAMANATION, then you’d get an idea of what this means for the average Turkmen. Of course, the average Turkmen now calls the month of April “Gurbansoltan” after Niyazov’s mother (awwww) and September is named for Niyazov’s book, so you have to figure they have more pressing concerns. And speaking of bestsellers, his book (which is half autobiography, half spiritual guidelines, and half lies) is required reading throughout the Turkmen equivalent of elementary school. (Imagine your 2nd grader being required to quote lengthy passages of George Bush’s “Decisions” for a grade.)Ha.

So at this point, if you’re anywhere near as ambitious as I am, you’re thinking, ok, I’m sold. Sign me up